Uddhav Joshi's Blog

So My Brother Comes upto me with his Social Sciences Text book (We call it Civics). and started asking me about Governance System in the World. Well Persumably he did know about Democracy, Communism and Dictatorship. So I thought to put up an example and vola I found another post!! Please read it carefully and do leave a comment behind. Please note the following is a mandatory requirement. TWO COWS SOCIALISM You have 2 cows. You give one to your neighbor COMMUNISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk FASCISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk NAZISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both and shoots you BUREAUCRATISM You have 2 cows. The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income ROYAL BANK OF SCOTLAND (VENTURE) CA...

Hello All, Welcome Back All. Was feeling low some time ago. And again life gave me a message which randomly appeared yet again on FB. The Eight One is My Personal Favorite. Go through the stories and do leave a comment behind. "14 short stories worth reading, feeling and forwarding to all those dear to you.." 1. Fall and Rise Today, when I slipped on the wet tile floor a boy in a wheelchair caught me before I slammed my head on the ground. He said, “Believe it or not, that’s almost exactly how I injured my back 3 years ago . 2. A Father's Advice Today, my father told me, “Just go for it and give it a try! You do n’t have to be a professional to build a successful product. Amateurs started Google and Apple. Professionals built the Titanic 3. The Power of Uniqueness. Today, I asked my mentor – a very successful business man in his 70’s – what his top 3 tips are for success. He smiled and said, “Read something no one else is reading, thin...

Life gives you many direct and indirect messages. Once while I was in such situation I happened to stumble across this post on Facebook. Though this is old, yet its meaningful and worth a thought. Mail sent by Narayan Murthy to all Infosys staff: 1-If you are working more than 9 hr then dont need to join Infosys. 2-If you are working on Saturday and Sunday dont join infosys (for IT). 3-Whatever time define in your task complete within time. Fire all people who fall in criteria 1,2,3. It’s half past 8 in the office but the lights are still on… PCs still running, coffee machines still buzzing… And who’s at work? Most of them ??? Take a closer look… All or most specimens are ?? Something male species of the human race… Look closer… again all or most of them are bachelors… And why are they sitting late? Working hard? No way!!! Any guesses??? Let’s ask one of them… Here’s what he says… ‘What’s there 2 do after going home…Here we get to surf, AC, phone, food, coffee...

So My last Post on 11 Classic Indianism was great here what I did after that post. Well Preparing for GRE and The Indian Business Language, here's the observation I have made. Hope you find it Funny and Hilarious. Do Leave A Comment Behind. The Difference between Normal Student Speaking English and GRE Student Speaking English. A NORMAL STUDENT: People who live in glass houses should not throw stones. GRE STUDENT : Individuals who make their abodes in vitreous edifices would be advised to refrain from catapulting perilous projectiles. NORMAL PERSON : Twinkle, twinkle, little star GRE STUDENT : Scintillate, scintillate, asteroid minim. NORMAL PERSON : All that glitters is not gold. GRE STUDENT : All articles that coruscate with resplendence are not truly auriferous. NORMAL PERSON : Beggars are not choosers GRE STUDENT : Sorting on the part of mendicants must be interdicted. NORMAL PERSON : Dead men tell no tales GRE STUDENT : Male cadavers are incapable of rende...

The world of Information Technology (I.T.) Its very lucrative. Big bucks, Technology. It gives you a sense of rush,thrill and achievement if you dedicate your heart to it. But all this isn't a bed of Roses(not that account for the thorns in the Roses.) I.T. is challenging and cut throat. He is a reason why. Well I am a Computer Science Graduate and finally landed a good job. Pertaining to I.T., I found the following mindset being very prevalent amongst people both those who work in the I.T. and Those who take services from I.T. "If it ain't broke ain't fix it." This comes when the I.T. asks for a upgrade. "No Matter What happens the I.T. IS ALWAYS RESPONSIBLE FOR EVERYTHING"  So if you stepped in an uuuggghhhhh IT is responsible that. "No Matter what happens I.T. HAS TO GET IT DONE IN MINUTES IF NOT SECONDS." Well it is good to be optimistic about resolving a problem. But this is dangerously optimistic that too with out the consent...

Okay so here is the catch. Five months into my job, tons of email being written and read. I stumbled upon a few Indianisms. Now I am not being Racist but, We are a unique species, aren’t we? Not humans. Indians, I mean. No other race speaks or spells like we do. Understand the following para-phrase. "Do one thing ... take this piece of chalk ..." or nnnaahhh just chuck it. Take greetings for example. A friendly clerk asking me for my name is apt to start a conversation with, “What is your good name?” As if I hold that sort of information close to my heart and only divulge my evil pseudonym. Bizarre. And hence I call these Indianisms. Which got me thinking about a compilation, a greatest hits of the most hilarious Indianisms out there. And here they are. The most common ones, and my favorites among them. 1. 'Passing Out' When you complete your studies at an educational institution, you graduate from that institution. You do not "pass out...

Any Hindi movie song can be related to any situation. I remember the time when I gave presentation for my projects in my college days. Here are a few Hindi Movie Songs that fits aptly to the situation of those which I faced in my college days. I wish I could say these definitions to the invigilator. Any way here's a few for you to enjoy. 1. Local variable Jeena Yahan Marna Yahan, Iske siva Jana kaahan. 2. Global variable Musafir hoon yaaron, na ghar hai na thikana 3. Null pointers Mera jeevan kora kagaz kora hi reh gaya .. 4. Dangling pointers Maut bhi aati nahi jaan bhi jati nahin. 5. The debugger Jab koi baat bigad jaye Jab koi mushkil pad jaye Tum dena saath mera hamnawaz 6. From VC++ to VB Yeh haseen vaadiyan Yeh khula asmaan Aa gaye hum kahan 7. Untrackable bug -- aye ajnabi, tu bhi kabhi, awaaz de kahin se 8. Unexpected bug (esp. during presentation to client) Ye kya hua, Kaise hua, Kab hua, Kyon hua 9. And then to the client Jab hua...